How does each child you lead answer the following three common questions of you?

  • Do I trust you?
  • Are you committed? (Do you give the time?)
  • Do you care about me?

Trust is earned through integrity and competence.


  • Strive for personal integrity in every endeavor, regardless of how mundane or inconsequential it may seem
    • Because small matters accumulate to shape our lives and character Be a person of strong, honorable character. The rewards are immeasurable.
    • Inner peace and serenity from knowing you are doing right
    • Absence of guilt and anxiety that accompany lesser choices
  • Exercise principled judgment
  • Be direct and truthful, without hedging
  • Present the unvarnished truth in an appropriate and helpful manner
  • Keep confidences
  • Admits mistakes
  • Do not misrepresent yourself for personal gain


  • Build and maintain competence (knowledge, judgment, skill)
  • Demonstrate competence, candor, commitment, & courage (physical & moral)
  • Be credible and inspire confidence with peers and those you lead (i.e. deliver on promises)
  • Follow through on all promises and commitments.
  • Put yourself in their shoes and anticipate concerns and expectations. When they see that you have thought about it like they do, it helps to relieve tension
  • Delegation shows trust and allows others to grow in their experiences
  • Conduct one-on-one meetings with each of your followers regularly (e.g. monthly)
  • Be tolerant of disagreement when encouraging input
  • Communicate clear expectations and standards and let them know where they stand
  • Demonstrate mature, responsible behavior that inspires trust and earns respect
  • The trust threshold - the follower demonstrates the desired performance, that they can
  • consistently reach the identified performance standard. Before trust is reached, more frequent checks are necessary. After trust reached, less frequent checks are needed.

Fairness to followers

  • Treat followers equitably
  • Act fairly
  • Have candid discussions
  • Do not have hidden agendas - they can see it
  • Do not give preferential treatment
  • Don’t scapegoat your followers. Take responsibility visibly for the decisions you make and the outcomes that follow. The blame game corrodes your credibility faster than any other act.
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KW Lanham



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